She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
