2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
