He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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