What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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