idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
