I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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