I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
