Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
