R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
