Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
