i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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