Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
