sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
