you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
