Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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