farters have to be the big spoon...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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