We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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