It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize