i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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