omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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