feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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