I hate your face
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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