I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
