She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Girls should come with a carfax report
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
