you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
