The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
