is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
