hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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