remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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