Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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