I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
