when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
