New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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