This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
