I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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