I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Randomize
