Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
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