yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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