All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
