I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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