Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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