They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize