My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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