All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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