I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
