My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
