she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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