wrigley field is MILF paradise
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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