White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
