i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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