Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Found your dick twin last night
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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