dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
