Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
