Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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