wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
