just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize