theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Panties = found
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
