so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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