got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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