Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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