My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
then he tried to convert me to islam
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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