ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
