it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
