For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He shit in the fireplace
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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