Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
