it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize