I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
