I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
